Product Instruction Snafus

Here are instructions alleged to occur on labels of consumer goods.
(The parenthetical remarks are not mine.)

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Also see: Marketing Translation Mistakes,    Hotel Signs    Odd Signs,    Newspaper Headlines

On a Sear's hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(darn! That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson/Swann frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts (often misreported as Sunsbury's peanuts):
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Shouldn't it start with "Locate and Read instructions"?)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
In a Philips washing machine instruction manual: 
If the main fuse blows, insert a fuse of a larger rating.
(What if it still blows 250-ampere brass nails?)
On an GSM radio base station:
Warning: Do not open the cabinet door until all the modules have been installed.
(How are we supposed get them in there?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could greatly reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

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This page last updated 2003-10-23.
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