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Odd Signs

These signs have allegedly been spotted in public use.   Perhaps they weren't, but the play on words is very good!

If you like these, you will also like Hotel Signs.

Ben Nelson wrote: My grandma's apartment, has a sign on the emergency exit saying:
This door is not to be used for entering or exiting the building.
Sign in a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In an office:
After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
English sign in a German cafe:
Mothers, please wash your hans before eating.
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Sign outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Slow cattle crossing, no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
Outside a disco:
Smart is the most exclusive disco in town, everyone welcome.
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand, any person passing this point will be drowned, by order of the district council.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with the letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants, please stay in your car.
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
Sign on a repair shop door:
We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
Toilet out of order please use floor below.
In a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.
On a septic tank truck sign:
We're #1 in the #2 business.
At a proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit please back in.
On a plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On a plumbers truck:
Don't sleep with a drip - call your plumber.
Pizza shop slogan:
7 days without pizza makes one weak.
On a maternity room door:
At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.
In a podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!
At a car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Outside a muffler shop:
No appointment necessary - we hear you coming.
In a veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
At the electric company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.
In a restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a funeral home:
Drive carefully. We'd rather wait.
At a propane filling station:
Tank heaven for little grills.
Sign at a Chicago radiator shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

The contents of this page have nothing to do with Mel Gibson's new (2002) movie "Signs".